Settling and Why it could be Unsettling
You’re in your quarter or mid-life, you’ve been with your girlfriend for the past 4 years and you see yourself making a family and having kids together. The one thing you assume that will make this vision a reality is getting hitched and let the pieces fall in place thereon. Regardless of your career, lifestyle, social life and that Xbox Controller you are so attached to, you go ahead and plan on popping the question. Before you do, get your safety jacket on because it’s gonna be bumpy after long. Or at least pause to read on below and reconsider.
Marriage and Married Life Costs
Say your soon to be wife wants a grand wedding, you’re going to have to shell out a lot of money on a memorable proposal as well. You can’t spend a couple of months just saving money up for proposing and putting together a wedding. You have to consider that after getting married, you will no longer only be feeding your own mouth. You have your wife’s as well as your soon to be kid/s. Maybe you both have jobs and you could split the house bill but remember kids need an education too. Babies need milk and diapers, teenagers need to go to college. Then there’s the need to buy your own house, a bigger fridge, a van in exchange for your car, insurance and mortgage—all the stuff that comes with being a good father, the only financial consolation being that your wife and kids are tax deductible.
Dating Dynamics No Longer Apply
This is especially true if you never lived in with your partner. Settling down also means that you both have to adjust to each others quirks and trivialities (your snoring and her used napkins, for example) on a daily basis until “death do us part.” And it’s not just a matter of who gets a turn at the TV or computer first. You eventually have to open your private life to her in a more in-depth way. She has to know who’s the new girl in your office and why she’s so close to you in the same way that you want to know why she feels the need to keep her cell phone inbox empty all the time. There will still be privacy but in a “together” sense.
No More One Man Shows
After marriage, say goodbye to single living. And by living, I do actually mean sustaining life. You are no longer fending for just yourself but also for your family. It scopes from the littlest of things like sharing your favorite snack to needing to leave from work because the wife is sick and no one else is ably available to be with her. The deal is that you have to take more responsibility as well as be responsible enough for yourself. You no longer will have the luxury of getting boozed out on a Friday night knowing that you have to attend your kid’s Parents-Teachers Conference the day after.
So slow down on the planning, buckaroo. Marriage is not only a process of changing your beloved’s last name; it means and implies so much more. If you can’t find time to go to the gym because of your busy schedule now, do you really think you’d have the time to help your kid out with his homework in the future? Yeah, didn’t think so. Make sure that you can settle with settling down before everything else.
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